If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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