so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many fucks given?
0.12846
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize