Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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