If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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