i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Dicks are not precious.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize