I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize