dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
He kissed a someone with a penis
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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