What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize