I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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