if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
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