Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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