I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize