I miss vodka workout Fridays
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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