you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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