Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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