Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize