I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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