I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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