GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
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She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
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all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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