dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
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we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
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He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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