guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I haven't been this sober since birth.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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