Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
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He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
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sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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