I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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