I hate your face
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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