Texts From Last Night

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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.

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  (413): I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing. http://tfl.nu/g19l
  Replies (21) Good night (1267) Bad night (3703) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me

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  (630): I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me http://tfl.nu/tgvp
  Replies (15) Good night (4927) Bad night (467) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.

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  (678): I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather. http://tfl.nu/h2z1
  Replies (45) Good night (412) Bad night (6858) Order T-Shirt
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.

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  (403): I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like. http://tfl.nu/sasf
  Replies (25) Good night (9107) Bad night (847) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.

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  (503): My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night. http://tfl.nu/xdrw
  Replies (19) Good night (525) Bad night (4404) Order T-Shirt
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised

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  (517): can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised http://tfl.nu/5ukp
  Replies (10) Good night (3790) Bad night (1163) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.

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  (978): apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material. http://tfl.nu/gr1e
  Replies (12) Good night (2121) Bad night (1025) Order T-Shirt
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  (408): View more from California

  I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom

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  (408): I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom http://tfl.nu/1a6p
  Replies (7) Good night (830) Bad night (2813) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?

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  (360): It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink? http://tfl.nu/zyp6
  Replies (5) Good night (925) Bad night (1445) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library

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  (404): Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library http://tfl.nu/areb
  Replies (5) Good night (2071) Bad night (405) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You almost married that.

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  (412): Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower. (1-412): You almost married that. http://tfl.nu/nlo1
  Replies (7) Good night (2322) Bad night (763)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.

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  (978): I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once. http://tfl.nu/s0yn
  Replies (5) Good night (1243) Bad night (489) Order T-Shirt
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  (940): View more from Texas

  Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?

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  (940): Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow? http://tfl.nu/gsnf
  Replies (8) Good night (1171) Bad night (279) Order T-Shirt
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer

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  (720): That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer http://tfl.nu/lbub
  Replies (1) Good night (345) Bad night (515) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday

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  (724): On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday http://tfl.nu/c6y1
  Replies (3) Good night (1264) Bad night (316) Order T-Shirt

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