he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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