Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize