Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
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They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
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I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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