i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize