it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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