final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
There are leaves in my underwear?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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