How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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