I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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