DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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