we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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