I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
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Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
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I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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