dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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