I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize