Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize