um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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