The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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