So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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