I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Every concussion has its silver lining
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize