There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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