Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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