I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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