Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I wear drunk well.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize