i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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