sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
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She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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