i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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